Do you remember my triumphant post from Week 5 of my 8 week sugar detox? You know…the one where I was basking in the glory of my new found self-control and I was adamant I had a handle on this whole sugar-free-life thing? Well it turns out my victory was pretty short-lived. Heck, the book I’m following even warned me about it (‘At this stage it can be tempting to relax, to be a little of yourself. And you lapse’). So guess what? Yep. I relapsed.
Last week, my sugar-free smugness came face to face with a proper test of resolve, and I realised just how weak it still is! In previous weeks, I had been so guarded against my cravings and temptation – it was always right there in my consciousness. But last week, the perfect storm had been brewing: complacency met my first real emotional test of my sugar-free journey. The emotional need, normally met by chocolate, seemed far more pressing than my one-woman-campaign for Kairos…and so I gave in to it. It would be okay (I thought)…I had given it up for the last 6 weeks, just one little fix wouldn’t undo all my good work, just one little sugar rush would be enough to make me feel better and then I’d carry on, no problem, with my detox. It turns out I was overly confident in my self-control and even though those chocolate buttons at 9.00am did nothing for me (they didn’t even taste nice after 6 weeks without them!) I had unleashed an insatiable sugar beast!
I’d like to say that meeting with a good friend after work re-focused my mind and re-set my resolve…but her gentle whispers of company and cake took hold. I was on a slippery slope.
I’m pleased to say that I pulled it back and the next morning continued on my journey of abstinence, but the experience left me feeling weakened and disappointed.
I was once again reminded of some of the parallels some of our service-users experience during their own battles with drug and alcohol misuse – the emotional needs being met through their substance of choice which overwhelm resolve, the mistaken sense of control, the exhausting mental struggle between will and want and the negative influence of people around them.
So I’m nearly there. One more week to go! There’s still time to support me and the #QuitForKairos challenge. Please consider:
- Making a donation via our Big Give page. Money raised will be used by Kairos WWT in their work to support women at risk of or subject to sexual exploitation
- Quiting something for Kairos – just for a day, or an evening and tell your friends (and us of course) that you’re #QuitingforKairos. You might quit riding the bus for one day and walk to work instead, or quit that Friday night bottle of wine, or that afternoon cake and donate the money you would have spent to the #QuitForKairos campaign
- (and please…still don’t offer me any chocolate!)