Escape by Shelley

Process

I’m standing here waiting
Waiting for him to arrive
My stomach churning
I know I should give up

Here he comes as bold as brass
In his big snazzy car and baseball cap
You flash your cash and he gives you your deal
All that gear I wish I could steal

I unwrap it fast, can’t wait for the hit
I cannot stop shaking shit my foil has ripped
So I start again got that rush already
I’m trying to keep my body steady

I place it on the foil ready
I burn away it takes the pressure away
I light up the flame and put it under my foil
I suck it hard not wanting to spoil

Once I have finished I lay back and relax
I can feel the hit in my head
The guilt kicks in
I wish I was dead

Escape

Why does my life twist and turn?
Why do I always have to learn?
Up and down away I go,
Majority, I’m very, very low

I try my best to keep my hope,
But all I want is to elope
To a place where there are no more bounds,
That’s only full of pleasant sounds.

I cannot stand all these words of hate
Especially from my so called mates.
|They bitch and slag behind my back.
I know that for a matter of fact.

I wish I had never been born
I am another woman scorn;
Broken hearted, shattered dreams.
Why are people so keen to be mean?

I feel I’m made of solid glass,
But my heart is greener than blades of grass
I’m jealous of other peoples love,
But I cover it well with a point 1 of dubs

The B’s help me live another day.
It could be worse I suppose some way.
Now, I rattle like the others do,
I’m hooked, I’m addicted, and what can I do

To cluck is too hard, and, too painful, you know
They say that rehab is the place to go.
Why should I lose what I’ve gained in my life?
All I want is to cut my arms with a knife.

Over the rainbow and far away-
Is where I’ll be one of these days!
I cannot wait for that day to arrive;
I’ve tried and tried, shit still alive.

Why can’t I have love of another?
Saying that you know, why should I bother?
Pain and hurt is all that it brings,
That all my heat will ever brings,

The attention I get at work on the streets-
I know it’s false, but it’s a real treat.
They tell me I’m lovely and look very nice;
Attention like that I’ve craved all my life.

Suppose, tomorrow, I could start again,
Instead of this pain, this awful pain.
My future, in bed is all that I think.
What future, what life – mines gone in a blink!

Somehow, I’ll try and get through the day.
I still have my faith, which is good in a way.
Upset, is how I feel inside.
You know, my loves, I wish I had died.